Rob Russell Davies: News and Blog

*Keepin' Up With Rob*

*The Newsletter of Songwriter and Musician, Rob Russell Davies*
www.robrusmusic.com

NEWS

Travel has been the name of the game since last week, with a wedding and visits to family and friends taking us to Gretna Green, Glasgow and Central Scotland. Then, next week I’m off to South Africa for a month where I’ll be spending a lot of time with my mum who’s based in the North Western Province, and will also be visiting Durban, Johannesburg and the Kruger National Park.

It’s great to see that over 1100 people have now read previous newsletters on my MySpace blog. Along with the folks who read it on my website, I also e-mail the newsletter directly to many friends. If you’re reading this online and would like to receive the e-mail version, then please just sign-up on either my website or the MySpace page. (Look for the sign-up boxes)

My Website 

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In recent weeks I’ve been working on three different music projects. As usual I’ve been gigging at the weekends, both as my solo act and a few nights with Craig as ‘The Duelling Pianos’. Work continues on the TV / Radio and Corporate Production music and it looks as though a short piece I’ve arranged will be used on a South African TV program later this year... fingers crossed!

I’m also arranging some new song ideas for the solo and ‘Duelling Pianos’ shows. At the moment I’m wading through the most wonderful jazz chords putting together a swing-like ‘Tribute To The Ratpack’. Hard work but fun! Other ideas to follow are, a big version of Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Born To Run’, a ‘Madness Medley’ and a brand new ‘Movie Medley.’

So with a new ‘Movie Medley’ on the horizon, I thought it might be an idea to chat a little about the old one...

THE MOVIE MEDLEY: THROUGH THE YEARS

Anyone who’s seen my live act is probably familiar with the movie medley. Those who know me often ask just how long I’ve been doing it. Some even ask why, after so many years, am I still doing that bl***y medley! The short answer to that, is that people still keep asking for it. Now and again I’ve been to venues where I’m well-known and have tried to leave it out, thinking that it might be overplayed... but chances are someone will come up and request it!

For the uninitiated, my arrangement features 3 different themes... ‘Close Encounters Of The Third Kind’, ‘Chariots Of Fire’ and ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’. Now and again I extend it with a quick version of the theme from ‘Exodus’... especially if good friend Steve is in the audience. Those who know me as a huge movie buff probably guess that these are 3 of my favourite movies. However, for the record... I’m not big on ‘Close Encounters’, quite like ‘Chariots’ and love ‘2001’.

Through the years I’ve tried to get more chatty with audiences, introducing a bit of ‘patter’ into the act. I don’t try a be a comedian, but rather try to build some ‘character’ and ‘fun’ into the show and do my best to get some interaction with the people. I mention this because, when I do get an attentive audience, it can be quite a laugh introducing the ‘Movie Medley’.

First, I play those famous 5 notes from ‘Close Encounters’ and ask the audience... what’s the movie? Just in case you can’t hear those notes in your head... they’re... ‘dee dee da dee da’ - got it now? (Report of my office later, if you haven’t!) It’s surprising how many people confuse this theme with E.T! No, I remind them... this is the movie that ends up on top of a mountain. There’s an ‘orrel speler’ (South African Afrikaans for organ player) with what looks like a well-lit Lowrey organ (remember the ad SA folks? - ‘if you can point a finger... you can play a Lowrey’).

Now a great big saucer-shaped Spaceship is landing and hopping out are a few strange-looking aliens. When I say aliens... I mean proper aliens from out of space. We’re not talking about illegal aliens here... these aren’t wee Zimbabweans crossing the border. For some reason a French genious has told the ‘orrel speler’ to play the famous ‘dee dee da dee da’ notes. What these notes are supposed to mean to an alien race is never made clear. My best guess?

‘Who the hell are you?!’

Other than seeing ‘Close Encounters’ a couple of times, I’ve never actually heard the proper theme to this movie. I’ve simply taken the famous 5 notes and built my own ideas around it. Not a single person has ever come up to me to point out that my version is nothing like the film’s! Once people hear those famous 5 notes they simply seem to associate all that follows as being from the movie. Amazing the power of a short recognisable phrase! 

In fact the ‘orrel Speler’ is playing this rather complicated looking synthesiser on top of the mountain. It’s an ARP 2500 which hopefully sounds a bit better than the ARP Odyssey that I used to own ... which would surely send our weird friends whizzing back to their home planet with their tentacles rammed right into their pointy little ears! (See the July Newsletter for more on that).

The thing about the second theme... ‘Chariots Of Fire’, is that a lot of people only have 2 memories of it. One is that it’s a good British-made film about the Olympics. The other is a long line of semi-naked men running in slow-motion down a beach. Go on, close your eyes, play that Vangelis piano theme through your head, and tell me you don’t see these early century geezers puffing and panting down your local blue-flag shore.

The Famous scene from Chariots - no gender-benders in this race I’m afraid!

I find 2001: A Space Odyssey a very divisive film, and most of my friends seem to fall into one of two schools. Those who love it, and those who hate it. For example, I urged Craig (my ‘Duelling Pianos’ partner) to watch it recently and he phoned me up after a few minutes with:

‘What is this c**p Rob? I’m watching a load of monkeys fighting here!’

And this coming from a guy who liked ‘Lost In Translation’!

The first time I watched 2001 was when I was about 11 years old, and my Dad took me to see it at the old Durban Playhouse. There was an interval in the middle and I remember standing in the foyer and Dad saying something like:

‘Well this is a load of rubbish. Do you want to stay for the second half or should we head for home?’

After some debate, we decided to stay, but eventually went home unimpressed, even though we both agreed that the special effects were clever and well done. But here’s the funny thing. I never forgot that movie! Certain scenes just wouldn’t leave my mind. A few years later when I was about 16, it came back on the circuit and I went to see it again. This time I quite liked it although didn’t really understand it very much. But now I was even more intrigued... what did it all mean? So a year or so later I read the Arthur C. Clarke book. That gave me a much better idea of what was going on and I’ve since seen it about another 4 times, enjoying it each time.

 Love the part where astronaut Dave Bowman, who’s outside the mothership in a ‘pod’, says to the ship’s computer Hal 9000...

‘Open the rear doors Hal’

After a pause... that chilling reply...

‘I’m sorry Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that’

...and you realise that the computer has taken the decision not to let him back in, obviously very bad news for Dave!

Unfortunately for Hal, Dave does manage to re-enter the main craft and the computer finds himself being disconnected. As he reaches his last few chips of brain power Hal give us what must be the first instance of a computer singing on the big screen. He sings ‘Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do’ gradually winding down like a dying record player.

It’s amazing to think that some of the famous Classical pieces of music used in 2001 including Richard Strauss’s ‘Also Sprach Zarathustra’ (the famous 2001 theme) and Johann Strauss II’s ‘On The Beautiful Blue Danube’ nearly didn’t make it into the film. This from online dictionary Wikipedia:

‘In the early stages of production, director Stanley Kubrick had commissioned a score from noted Hollywood composer Alex North, who had written the score for ‘Spartacus’ and also worked on ‘Dr. Strangeglove’. However, on 2001 Kubrick did much of the filming and editing using, as his guides, the classical recordings which eventually became the music track. In March 1966, MGM became concerned about 2001's progress and Kubrick put together a show reel of footage to the ad hoc soundtrack of classical recordings. The studio bosses were delighted with the results and Kubrick decided to use these 'guide pieces' as the final musical soundtrack, abandoning North's score. Kubrick failed to inform North that his music had not been used and, to his dismay, North did not discover this until he saw the movie just prior to its release.’

Naughty, naughty Mr. Kubrick!

My movie medley actually began in the 1980s while I was still with Wizard. Initially there was no backtrack, and I just played whatever came to mind while sticking to the basic movie themes. I’d usually do my solo bit and then the band would join in at the end launching into one of our songs. After a while the band took to leaving the stage, presumably leaving me up there to have a good time. Or maybe it was their way of saying:

‘Oh... go on, show-off... but we’re not standing up here listening to it!’

I began to suspect that this feeling was creeping in, particularly when one night at The Godfather in Hillbrow, Johannesburg, the band left the stage and disappeared into the staff bar at the back of the club. So I did a few minutes, but after a while was running out of ideas and still the ‘buggers’ hadn’t reappeared. They left me up there for what felt like ‘hours’ and eventually I just sort of finished off and sheepishly left the stage. Very embarrassing... I’m not sure what the audience made of it! Needless to say, there was an almighty row in the back bar later! (I have eventually seen the funny side guys, and forgiven you).

On another occasion, a drunken member of the audience decide that I needed some help. He jumped up behind the keyboards and tried to play along. I ended up trying to kick him off the stage... and I mean kick, shouting over the mike for a bouncer while still trying to keep both hands on the keyboards. Tricky!

By the late 80s and early 90s I had joined up with UK based band Wozani. Our home-base pub in Leeds was the Harvesters in Bramley, where landlord Phil let us practice during the days, and in return we put on some fantastic Saturday night gigs, which are still well remembered in this part of the world! (I’m hoping to do an article about the Harvesters in a future newsletter).

Sunday nights, however, were quiz and jam session nights. At one stage we had a kind of resident Sunday night band consisting of Wozani’s George Van Dyk on Bass, Tim Delaney on drums... who would later be my partner in ‘Sample This’, and myself on keyboards. At the start of each night we didn’t really have a clue what we were going to play and just kind of made it up as we went along. Great fun. Sometimes it could be a bit of a shambles but other times it could click together quite brilliantly!

One night when the 3 of us were really rocking, George got a bit excited and jumped up onto his bass amplifier and then launched himself into a flying leap across the stage. Unfortunately, this particular stage was a bit of a temporary set-up and not built to withstand such an assault. With a loud crack, George went clean through it, and ended up with the lower part of his legs through the wooden planks and the rest of him poking out through the top. I remember that we had to abandon the song we were playing due to the tears of laughter from Tim, myself and the audience.

The movie medley became a favourite at our Sunday night sessions and really sounded great with the addition of a rock and roll beat from Tim and a simple but driving bass line from George. A few months later when Tim and I were putting together our repertoire for ‘Sample This’ I programmed a backing track onto a very early Roland Sequencer. (A sequencer is basically a computer used for recording musical information). Because of the Roland’s limitations, that version had to be kept very basic. Later on I got my first real computer... an Atari ST (which by today standards was also a very basic machine), and managed to re-programme the medley adding some more sounds. And that’s the backing track I still use to this day.

So it’s evolved quite a bit over time, but still lives on! But maybe it is time to add another medley and I’m still busy deciding which themes to use. Here’s a few early ideas... 

THE FALKIRK WHEEL

Here’s a picture that looks as though it could have been taken straight out of the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey!

 In fact this contraption is The Falkirk Wheel which we’ve just visited in Central Scotland. So what does it do then? Well, it’s basically a rotating boat lift connecting the lower Forth and Clyde Canal to the higher Union Canal which helps boats to move up and down from one canal to the other. Years ago the 2 Canals were connected by a series of 11 locks, but by the 1930’s these had fallen into disuse and were filled in. However, the Falkirk Wheel now means that Glasgow and Edinburgh are once again connected by a canal route, and a good tourist trade on the waterways is starting to flourish. The wheel was completed in 2002 with much money coming from lottery funds, and was officially opened by the Queen.

If you look closely you’ll see that one boat is halfway up and one is halfway down. It takes just 4 minutes to get from bottom to top, or visa versa. The lift height is 24 metres, roughly the equivalent of an 8 storey building. We had a ride on it, and it’s very smooth... you hardly realise that you’re in a kind of lift filled with water... a bit like a moving bath tub!

If you’d like to read more information about the wheel, then please check out:

Wikipedia Article: The Falkirk Wheel 

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LAST BITS

To end off, here’s a ‘funny’ sent to me from a South African friend Ernst.

A couple were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

However, their good and healthy ways didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favourite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said,

'Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.'

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.

'Why, nothing,' Peter replied, 'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.'

The old man looked out the window and saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth..
'What are the greens fees?,' grumbled the old man.
'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied. 'You can play for free, every day.'

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts and free flowing beverages. 'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to the man. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.'

The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.
'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated tea?,' he asked.
That's the best part,' St. Peter replied. 'You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!'

The old man pushed, 'No gym to work out at?'
'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.
'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...'
'Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.'

The old man glared at his wife and said, 'You and your bloody Bran Flakes... we could have been here ten years ago!'

That’s all for this month and chat again next month from South Africa.

Rob.

http://www.robrusmusic.com

(Be a friend on mySpace)

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*Keepin' Up With Rob*

*The Newsletter of Songwriter and Musician, Rob Russell Davies*

www.robrusmusic.com

NEWS

I’m afraid this letter’s running a bit late in the month. I can offer 2 excuses for this:

1: A couple of rush-jobs in the studio came in last week.

2: The Ashes. Since I’ve lived in the UK, I’ve always loved this cricket series between England and Australia. It wasn’t quite so good in the 90s when the Aussies routinely gave the ‘poms’ a right good thrashing. But lately it’s been more of a balanced contest, especially when played in England. (The 2007 mauling in Aus. is maybe best forgotten!) A great line from Andrew Strauss when being interviewed about England's winning series:

‘When we play bad, we play really bad. But when we’re good, we’re just good enough!’

Pretty much sums up the series perfectly, and could be a good epitaph for many a band out there!

Lots of thanks to all those who came to the ‘Duelling Pianos’ showcase at the Harehills club / Leeds. It was certainly a busy night for Craig and myself. The club’s not the easiest ‘loader’ with those infamous nasty fire-escape stairs, and of course things always get more complicated when there’s a few different acts on. But we got through the technical problems and safely negotiated the club’s decibel meter (although only-just according to good friend Johnny Martell A.K.A. Tony Pepperoni). So far the night has lead to a fair bit of interest from local agents, has generated a few gigs later this year, with quite a few more to go in next year.

For the diary, a future ‘pianos’ gig in the Leeds / Wakefield area to look out for is:

Old Bank WMC / Sunny Bank Avenue / Mirfield BF14 0NE on Saturday, September 5th.

Rob 'n Craig's Duelling Pianos

A couple of other events to mention. The Rodley Beer and Music Festival takes place this weekend running from Friday 28th to Monday 31st August. Last year was a huge success, and this year is going to be even bigger with over 45 acts appearing on 2 different stages at The ‘Barge’ and ‘Owl’ pubs. Lots of different guest ales on too, and some family entertainment.

On Monday 31st of August ‘The Monday Club’ at the Commercial Pub in Morley is celebrating it’s 10th anniversary. Organiser and well know singer / musician John Verity (JV) is appropriately the main act on, but all acts are invited to bring backing tracks and get up and do a bit. John’s expecting it to be more packed than usual and the music is going to start earlier... 4 PM going on until (John’s own words...) whenever...!

Most of my daytime writing and programming work has been focused on building up a portfolio of production music. Lately I’ve concentrated on big-sounding instrumentals usually with a bit of an African feel to them as well as some pieces that would be more suitable for kid’s programs. Now and again someone wants something for a specific advert or show that’s being made, and these are always a challenge especially as there’s usually a time limit involved.

The Facebook page continues to grow and I’ve even managed to upload a few pieces of music onto it, as well as a nice collection of pictures. I’m finding lots of new friends on there, and am still catching up with quite a few lost-ones from the past. I’m not much of a twit, but am still tweeting the odd tweet on twitter. (Try saying that after a few pints!). Here’s all the relevant links. Please feel free to be a friend on any or all of these social networking sites... my psychiatrist keeps telling me that I can use all the help I can get!:

Rob on Facebook

Rob on Twitter

Rob on MySpace

The Tipperary Song of Peace MySpace Page

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A QUIETER DURBAN BEACHFRONT.

We’re in the middle of summer here, so I thought that it might be an idea to make the majority of this newsletter about one of South Africa’s beach capitals... Durban.

Part of Durban's Golden Mile

I still remember driving the old mini down to the Durban beachfront, parking it up with no sign of a car guard, little or no fear of it being ‘nicked’, and then tackling the evenings major problem. Which club should I go to? Oh yes, the problems of youth! Facing me would be the Malibu hotel with a rock / pop cover band at ‘Ports O’ Call’, a comedy showband at ‘Father’s Moustache’ and a solo artist up on the first floor ‘Diamond Circle’ lounge. Slightly to the right was the Claridges Hotel with a great pop band upstairs at ‘Cat’s Whiskers’. Then there was the (in)famous Beach Hotel with a solo artist at the ‘Cockney Pride’ pub, another solo artist on the veranda, and a world-class British or South African act on at the cabaret venue downstairs. What was the name of that cabaret venue, I just can’t remember?

The Beach Hotel, Durban. As it is today.

That’s just 3 hotels out of a Golden Mile (which is actually a lot longer than a mile) which is packed full of them! Not far away was the ‘El Castilian’ at the Lonsdale hotel with a rock band in it, comedian and singer Joe Parker upstairs on the pool deck and around the corner... ‘Club Tomorrow’ which soon turned into the ‘London Town Pub’ kitted out with an original red London bus! Nearby was a live-entertainment club at the Killarney hotel which would later turn into the huge ‘Club Med’. And these are just my favourites at the time, that happened to be in walking distance from where I’d parked the car! A short drive north or south along the mile would find you quite a few other live music venues. This, of course, was back in the days when you could actually drive on the beachfront.

The point being that Durban was spoiled for choice. On some nights the decision of where to go wasn’t too difficult. Thursday nights, for example, was ladies night, at ‘Cat’s Whiskers’ and most of Durban’s male population under 25 could be found there on the prowl! The band I remember well at Cat’s was ‘Wolf’. In fact I spent that many Thursday evenings there leaning up against the bar that I can still remember the barman’s name... Keith. Mind you, as I was a big Keith Emerson fan at the time, remembering that particular name isn’t that impressive.

So what’s happened to all the ‘live music’ on the beachfront. Well first of all, South Africa has changed so much politically and socially in the last 20 or so years. The pros and cons of all these changes are not something that I want to debate in this newsletter... other than to note that things are now very different. The one thing I would say to the authorities is, please tackle the crime and grime... otherwise you are in danger of turning Durban’s Golden mile into Durban’s no-go area... and that’s going to lose you a lot of money!

It’s still great, but it needs care! One of Durban's famous Rickshaw rides. The Golden Mile in the background.

The world-wide phenomenon of ‘Saturday Night Fever’ leading to the growth of disco had to be another factor, as is the steady progress of music technology allowing fewer and fewer musicians to sound like a full band. (The technology argument is always a bit of a double-edged sword, because without it many musicians wouldn’t be working at all... and, of course, you certainly wouldn’t be reading this newsletter!) Another factor which seems to be happening in all of South Africa’s major cities is that entertainment seems to be spreading around more. These days you’re more likely to find venues out in the suburbs than in the city centres. All well and good, but I must say that the one thing I loved about Durban in the 70s and 80s was that so much of the entertainment was centered in one place... the beachfront. A school friend of mine once told me that to ‘crack it’ in Durbs you had to be a surfer or in a band. With my grace, balance, posture and general flexibility, I soon realised that I needed to opt for the latter.

As far as I know, one entertainer is still pulling them in on the veranda of the Beach Hotel. He’s Dick B. Morton, and he’s been on that very same veranda on-and-off ever since 1974, and nearly full-time there since 1982. He’s got a repetoire of over 1000 songs in a huge variety of styles ranging from Rock n’ Roll to Reggae and Afrikaans to Sing-a-Long. To read more, please visit Dick’s website at:

Dick's Website

Dick B. Morton still entertaining at The Beach Hotel

MY SIDE... CHEERS!

Recently I was reminded of my misspent youth in Durbs by some ‘groups’ I’ve signed up to on facebook. Anyone interested might like to look up:

Worked or Partied at Your Father’s Moustache

Who Remembers the old Durban Beachfront

80s Clublife Durban 

I’ve also reconnected with old friends Lamy and Colin of Comedy Showband ‘Cheers’ fame. Great news is that Cheers are still going as a duo and can be seen on Wednesday nights at Coco’s at Umhlanga Sands, Umhlanga Rocks. I’m hoping to get along and see them when I’m over later in the year.

Cheers: Lamy (left) and Colin.

‘Cheers’ were part of a long tradition of brilliant comedy showbands at ‘Fathers Moustache’. Build like a big pub with a long bar, decent size stage, good light show, wooden floor, solid wooden tables, there was just something about the venue that made you think it had been there forever and would last forever. When Wizard was working next door at ‘Ports O’ Call’ I often used to pop into ‘Father’s’ for my evening meal - bangers, mash, beans and an Amstel. A great thing about the pub was that wherever you sat you could see the stage. When I went to watch a band there, I usually tried to plonk myself down at the long bar which was nicely raised to see above the tables in front. Whenever I went into the venue, it was always packed, and I always considered myself lucky if I found a spare barstool. Once you got one, you hung onto it for dear life, and made sure you befriended the guy next to you to keep tabs on it when you needed a loo break.

The first band I ever saw there was UK comedy showband ‘The Mutton Chops’. Other than the fact that they were very good and played banjos, I can’t remember that much about them. I suppose I’ve got a bit of an Amstel memory, even though it was obscuring a much younger brain back then. The one thing I do remember is that now and again the band would suddenly stop mid-song... there would be a bit of a pause... and then one of the ‘chops’ would wander over to a dedicated ‘burp’ mike and issue forth a loud ‘braaaap’ much to the audience’s merriment! Then the song would continue. No song was safe from such an interruption! Pop band ‘Wolf’ across the road at Cat’s Whiskers would later adopt a similar idea, although their microphone was set a little nearer to the ground. I won’t go into any more detail there!

Incidentally, I bumped into 2 of the Muttonchop boys in a Leeds pub in the early 90s. (They were easy enough to identify!) I suspect they hail from not that far away, and I think that one or more of them are still out gigging. I found this picture of Richard ‘Muttonchops’ Johnson who I think is one of the original members and have found a few references to the band in Leeds, Norwich and Blackpool.

Richard 'Muttonchops' Johnson

Following after ‘The Mutton Chops’, I remember seeing other great bands ‘Glam’, ‘Clown’, ‘Altitude’ and sing-a-long masters ‘The Blarney Brothers’ although I probably have more memories of ‘Cheers’ as they were one of the last bands to appear at The Father’s. At different times, ‘Cheers’ featured the musical and comedy talents of Lamy De Almeida (simply Lamy to everyone), Colin Sumner, Marcus Kleyweg, Danny Fisher and Nick Williams. Their music, vocals, harmonies were always great, but the thing that really stands out was the comedy. Here’s a picture of the famous ‘le potties’ that any unsuspecting birthday boy would have to down. I hasten to add that in most cases, the potties were filled with beer or some alchoholic beverage. However, it would be advisable to keep on the right side of the band in this respect.

Colin, Lamy and Nick with... (drumroll) le potties!

I still fondly remember Lamy yelling out the band’s catch phrase: ‘My side cheers’... usually followed by ‘kak!’ when not enough of the audience joined in with the toast. Then Colin or one of the other band members would try and compete with his side of the audience. They also did a great skit featuring the dubious talents of one ‘Rod Stupid’. My funniest moments were often when Lamy would say something in English and then kind of twist it into Afrikaans to mean something quite rude or just plain silly.

Good things come to an end, and I found this really sad picture on the ‘Fathers’ Facebook page. This is the ghost of ‘Fathers’ left to rot in darkness and silence. In Colin’s words...

‘In 2002 there was talk about reopening Fathers so Lamy & myself went in to have a look. It was weird.... when it closed in 1996 all they had done is stack the stools & close the doors.’

The Ghost of Father's Moustache.

Isn’t that such a sad picture. I couldn’t help wondering if Durban would ever find a place in it’s heart for another ‘Father’s’. Surely there’s enough people in such a big city who want to go out for a laugh, a meal and great music to warrant such a venue? I know that ‘Supper Theatres’ are a bit similar, but they don’t quite tap that ‘pub feel’ you got at ‘Fathers’.

Stop press! Something to cheer us up. This advert has just appeared on the Cheers facebook page... So all Durban readers, please get youselves along to Cocos!

 Visit ‘Cheers’ on Facebook - features lots of videos and pictures of ‘Father’s’ days

LAST BITS

This story started off as an e-mail from Sharon. I checked around the Internet, and found a few other reports so I think it’s probably a true account of an incident recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida.

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs,

"I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!"
The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad.

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then she realised why. It was the same reason why there was a football, a frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.

A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces further down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the end of the counter, where four pale man were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.

Moral of the story? If you're going to have a senior moment... make it memorable.

Don't mess with my Granny!

 Thanks for reading and chat again soon. I’ll try not to be late next month!

Rob.

www.robrusmusic.com

(Be a friend on mySpace, Facebook or Twitter)

Rob on Facebook

Rob on Twitter

Rob on MySpace

The Tipperary Song of Peace MySpace Page

(All open in a new window)

*Keepin' Up With Rob*

*The Newsletter of Songwriter and Musician, Rob Russell Davies*

NEWS

Biggest news, must be that I’m a grandad again with baby Olivia being born last Thursday. Baby, mum and all the family are well! Rose and I are chuffed to bits!

Music wise, I’m still working on lot’s of different instrumental tracks for the production companies, but must confess to sneaking quite a few peeks at the cricket whenever possible.

Thumbs up to Paul Abraham of Leeds Music Promotions for adding a blog about me on his MySpace page. Much appreciated Paul and thanks once again for putting ‘The Tipperay Song’ on your page as well. Paul’s MySpace page is:

*Keepin' Up With Rob*

Hi and welcome to my June newsletter. For those who haven’t received one yet, the idea behind 'Keepin' Up With Rob' is to keep you informed as to what's happening with my music, to let you know about current and future CD's, downloads, and just to chat about some of the loves of my life... music, songs, songwriting, the people who make the music, and anything that's hopefully interesting.

NEWS

Writing music for television / radio and corporate functions has now become the ‘day job’ taking up most of my time and energy. I’m writing at the moment in lot’s of different styles having recently done some African / piano-based soundscape ideas, football songs for the World Cup and even some children’s tracks. At least I’ve now got an answer for those people who always love to come up to the stage at gigs to tell us how easy us musicians have it. They have this sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll perception that we lie about all day in messy hovels in drug / booze infested stupor's annoying the neighbours with occasional drum solos and Hendrix inspired guitar riffs.

‘Not any more!’ I tell them

(Just joking... I’ve always been a little angel!)

 Whilst over in Ireland this year, I had a few chats with the Tipperary Peace committee about some ideas I’ve been thinking about for the song competition. To help exposure on the net, one of the plans we’ve agreed on is to get our own MySpace page dedicated specifically to the competition, which I’m going to run on behalf of the committee. It’s a way of telling everyone what the competition is all about, to share pictures and memories of past weekends, to hear some of the winners songs and hopefully to get songwriters and the public interested in taking part. It’s now all up and running so please check out our new page at:

 http://www.myspace.com/tipperarysongofpeace

(opens on a new page)

Interest is already growing and we’re already nearing our first 1000 visitors. If you’re on MySpace we’d love to have you as a friend. It’s also a great way of hearing the winning songs from the last few years!

Craig and I have had a little flurry of gigs around Yorkshire and Lancashire as the ‘Duelling Pianos’ in the last few weeks. We got a great compliment last week when a local club we did asked us to do next year’s (2010) New Years eve for them! Now that’s forward planning! By the way, we think we’ve found the ‘source’ of swine flu as being Craig’s Meatloaf wig used for our version of ‘Bat Out Of Hell’. If not, there’s definitely something living in it which warrants further investigation.

The fact that the Internet is a very useful and powerful tool hit me again a few weeks ago. I was contacted by one of my best friends going back to school days. The last time we got together was in 1987 which means that we’d lost contact for over 22 years! He’d typed in my name and ‘music’ and came across the website. Great to be friends again Ian (the Bean) and hope you’re enjoying the newsletters!

SONGS THAT TAKE YOU BACK...

You might remember that in last month’s newsletter I mentioned that it might be interesting to do a bit about those songs that have a special meaning in our lives. The ones that bring back certain memories each time you hear them and ‘take you back’ to a place, person or event. Here’s a few of mine to get it going, but please feel welcome to write in and share any of yours with us.

 AVALON / ROXY MUSIC

A very interesting 3 month contract at the Capital Towers Hotel in Pietermaritzburg in Natal, South Africa. I made sure that Wizard let me sing our version of the song. This came out at the same time as the famous ‘Men At Work’ album which brings back so many memories too! I can’t hear ‘Avalon’ or ‘Who Can it be Now?’ without going straight back to ‘Maritzburg’!

JUST THE WAY YOU ARE / BILLY JOEL

Durban / SA while at Port’s O’ Call. I simply remember lying in bed and hearing this song on the radio and thinking that it must be one of the best ballads ever written! At around about the same time, ‘Three Times a Lady’ came out, which I thought was just as good in it’s own right.

HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY / VAN MORRISON

Leeds / UK. I’m a huge ‘Van’ fan and there’s so many of his songs to pick, all with different memories. What about ‘Moondance’, ‘In The Garden’ and that whole strange album... ‘Astral Weeks’.

You’ll notice that all the above are ballads. I suppose that people often pick them because of the strong melody lines, the words usually ‘mean something’, they're easy to remember, and ‘get to us’ on an emotional level. But just for the fun of it, I’ll pick a non-ballad as one I’ll always remember. How about...

SULTANS OF SWING / DIRE STRAITS

Wizard in Margate on the Natal South Coast. Now I ‘found’ this fantastic number for the band to do after someone had given me a tape of this ‘new’ and different UK band. So I started learning all the words and worked out the chords etc. so that Wizard could do the song with me singing it... and like a child with a new toy, presented it to the guys. A day later, Paul our guitarist slinks up to me pointing out that as the guitar is such an integral feature of the song, it would make more sense for him to sing it as well... it’s very much a guitarist / singer style song Well... he was right, so I let him sing it, but have never really forgiven him for stealing my song! (Only kidding Paul - and you sang it better than I would have done!)

If anyone’s got any ‘songs that take you back’ please write in letting me know why you love ‘em.

THE (REAL) TURNER PRIZE

Later this year the long suffering British public will be coming up for another instalment of ‘The Turner Prize’ which is organised by the Tate Gallery in London. Who knows what nonsense is in store for us this year, but if past years is anything to go by, it will be something designed to shock that will require as little actual talent as possible. To give you an idea of this ‘talent’... some past winners have included:

A film of the artist dressed as a bear wandering around an empty museum.

A piece called Lights Going On and Off, which turned out to be an empty room with (you guessed it!) the lights going on and off.

A video called 60 minutes of Silence, where a group of actors dressed in police uniforms and had to stand still for an hour. (However some occasional scratching was observed)

A double bed in a dishevelled state with stained sheets, surrounded by underwear, condoms, slippers and empty drink bottles.

A guy who puts dissected sharks, sheep and a cows in glass containers preserved in formaldehyde.

I’m not sure if artists with real talent want to laugh or cry when they see some bozo win £40,000 for mounting his Grandmother’s knickers on a wall! It’s not that I’m against ‘modern’, ‘new’ or ‘conceptual art’ but rather that what’s being showcased here doesn’t really take any talent to do. Now I have trouble drawing stick insects, but could certainly manage a room with the lights going on and off. And please don’t tell me that it’s the ‘idea’ or ‘concept’ that counts more than the talent. If the idea is just plain stupid to start with, then surely it’s not worth doing. (Although I suppose, if someone is prepared to give you 40 grand for putting your old knacked bed in a room, then maybe it is!) I could video myself at the piano for 3 minutes in my underpants with one of Craig’s wigs on playing the same note endlessly if I thought that was a good idea. (Which, incidentally I don’t - and before you ask... I ain’t doin’ it!). The shame of it all is that there are some fantastic artists out there doing wonderful and unusual stuff. Here’s a few that have been e-mailed to me in recent months... My ‘alternate’ Turner nominees!

No it’s not all done with computers! This is a MI-24 helicopter in Afghanistan which has actually been painted by some of the British soldiers serving there.

Meet Mr. Randall D. Boni from Parrottsville, Tennessee who does wood carvings using a chain saw(!)

Amazing!

I don’t know who the artists are here, but what about this ‘truck art’! It’s all been painted on.

Books on Wheels!

This ones called ‘Great Crevasse' and it’s by street artist Edgar Mueller, and his assistants. It was painted on the streets of Dun Laoghaire, Ireland, as part of the town's ‘Festival of World Cultures’

For this one, Edgar spent five days, working 12 hours a day, to create the 250 square metre image of the crevasse, which, viewed from the correct angle, appears to be 3D. He then persuaded passers-by to complete the illusion by pretending the gaping hole was real.

Edgar comments...

'I wanted to play with positives and negatives to encourage people to think twice about everything they see,' he said. 'It was a very scary scene, but when people saw it they had great fun playing on it and pretending to fall into the earth. 'I like to think that later, when they returned home, they might reflect more on what a frightening scenario it was and say, "Wow, that was actually pretty scary".

And here’s one that's more apt for the ‘real’ Turner prize... it could be painted on the roof of the Tate Gallery this year. Perhaps some of this years nominees would like to have a go?!

 　FINAL WORDS

Just got this Paddy joke from (WFH) Sharon:

Paddy's pregnant sister was in a car accident and went into a deep coma.. After being ‘out’ for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies,

'Ma'am, you had twins; a boy and a girl! The babies are fine now, but they were poorly at birth and had to be Christened immediately... your brother came in and named them.'
The woman thinks to herself,

'Oh no, not mi' brother! He's a bloody clueless ignoramus!'
Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor,

'Well, what's my daughter's name?'
'Denise,' says the doctor.
The new mother is totally relieved.
'Wow, that's a beautiful name, I guess I was wrong about my brother.. I like Denise.'
Then she asks, 'What's the boy's name?'

(wait for it.......)

　'Denephew'.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks again for reading, chat again next month.

Rob.

 www.robrusmusic.com

(Be a friend on mySpace)

 Http://www.myspace.com/robrusselldavies

Once again the ‘Tipperary Festival of Peace’ proved to be an inspiring, moving and thoroughly enjoyable weekend. I’ve done a report for this newsletter with some news and background on the peace award winner, the song of peace winner, and some interesting people we met whilst over there.

  First of all a big thank you to Paul Abraham for the article on his Leeds Music Promotions blog:

Leeds Music Promotions

 And also for adding ‘The Tipperary Song’ to his MySpace page:

 Paul's MySpace Page 

 Speaking of which... MySpace users... keep in mind that you can add any of the songs featured on my page to your own playlists. You simply click on the + button to the right of the song titles. It’s a great way to get more people to hear the songs, and I’d really appreciate the exposure.

  I received a wonderful e-mail from Lay Yesson in Johannesburg in relation to the ‘greatest epic songs’ article in the last newsletter. I’ve never met Lay and have only had e-mail contact with him but know that he once worked with Wizard drummer and good friend Tony Stark. Here in his own words (and with his permission) is what he had to say:

 ‘Hi Rob... I must confess I enjoy your newsletters even if I didn't get to know you all that well in years past. I just wanted to react to your bits about "MacArthur Park". When ‘Shinnery’ unexpectedly bust up in 1978, I was devastated and went into a depressed slump, vowing I'd never sing again. Then I got a phone call (can't remember who from) asking me to do a recording as a session singer. I went down to the studios, very sceptical and uninterested. They plonked the lyrics and score for "MacArthur Park" in my hands and said "We want you to sing that". I argued that it was so far from my style of singing that it was a joke, but they pleaded with me to give it a try.

I took it home and started working through it. When I reached the part "There will be another song, and I will sing it", I went cold. I went into the studios the next day and sang like I've never sung before or since. It was never released and I curse myself for never keeping a copy, but that song will always have a special meaning for me. Shortly after that I formed ‘LeatherBone’ with Kevin Hinds and had a couple of the best years of my musical career... thanks to "MacArthur Park" which kicked me into gear!’

Well there you go, the emotional power of a good song! Maybe an idea might be to do an article in a future newsletter about those songs that have had a special meaning in our lives. You know the ones... songs that take you back to the place you were when you first heard them... the ones that bring all those good and bad memories flooding in... the ones that remind you of people and the ones that make you laugh and cry. We’ll call it ‘the soundtracks to your life’! E-mail me any of your favourites with background info if you like.

TIPPERARY 09

They say it’s a long, long way, but actually with the help of a Ferry across the Irish Sea and the new M8 motorway link towards Cork, we made it with a quarter of a tank of petrol to spare. (Have you noticed how no-one’s saying anything about the creeping price of petrol at the moment - over here they seem more worried about MP’s using tax payers money to pay their gardeners, watch naughty TV channels and buy dog food!)

 Even going by past ‘Tipperary Conference of Peace’ experiences, the opening night of the festival was a surprise. About 40 dignitaries, songwriters and musicians were all led into Dan Breen House where the Tipperary Town Council sits, to be awarded a ‘Civic Reception’ which is the highest honour the Council can award. (It’s a bit like the freedom of the city without the free beer - they’re nice people... but not daft!) We all crammed around the council table as first the mayor and then each councillor made a speech welcoming us, followed by a reply from the Conference Secretary Martin Quinn.

Later that night we all got together at the Ballykisteen Hotel opposite the famous Tipperary horse racing track for a meet-and-greet session. Then to the hotel bar where the guitars were produced and we all started to get to know each other to the accompaniment of great improvised music. A good ‘craic’ as they say in Ireland.

Friday afternoon was taken up with the peace award ceremony. This to me is very much the ‘heart’ of the weekend, and this year was particularly special in that it was the 25th anniversary of the conference weekend. An excellent lunch was served in the Ballykisteen Hotel Ballroom before yours truly got behind the piano to do an acoustic version of ‘The Tipperary Song’. I must confess to being quite nervous, especially when I found out that the Irish Foreign Minister... Micheál Martin, some high level military officials, diplomats from 12 different countries, the mayor, members of the Tipperary Town Council and songwriters and musicians from all over the world were in the audience.

The peace award this year went to the Cluster Munition Coalition. They’re an international group of people working to protect civilians from the terrible effects of cluster bombs, and hopefully to have these weapons banned by international law. These indiscriminate bombs often kill and maim many innocent people, more often than not, not even finding their intended targets. There have been many incidents of children being hurt or killed after picking up unexploded ‘bomblets’ left long after the fighting has moved on. The CMC have already had some success and a ‘Convention on Cluster Munitions’ was adopted in Dublin in May 2008 and signed by 94 nations. One lady from the CMC was telling me that it’s one thing to get countries to agree on doing away with these bombs in principle... but the important thing is to get them to ratify their agreements. So far, according to Wikipedia online dictionary, only 6 countries have ratified the convention and actually started taking steps to destroy their arsenals of cluster bombs. Once 30 countries ratify the convention, a formal process of implementation can begin. Well if we can do it with land mines than I’m sure that we can do it with cluster bombs!

The peace award was accepted by cluster bomb survivor Mr. Branislav Kapetanovic from Serbia who lost both his arms and legs while attempting to clear contaminated areas in his country. An in depth article on Branislav can be found at:

 Branislav Kapetanovic article 

Cluster bomb victim Branislav Kapetanovic accepts the Tipperary Peace Prize from members of the committee at the Ballykisteen hotel, May 2009

Later that evening we were treated to a great recital by the C.J. Kickham Brass and Reed Band in the foyer of the hotel. Great stuff and fantastic to see every age group represented in the band. I couldn’t resist asking the drummer who was still packing up his kit long after most of the band had left why he hadn’t taken up the flute.

The evening was then taken up by a Peace Forum in the ballroom with four guest speakers and questions from the audience. A moment stands out for me that evening. Guest speaker Mr Arnold Kashembre from the Democratic Republic of the Congo told us how he recently received a phone call from his sister trapped on the other side of that war-torn country. Of course, it’s a huge country which has endured endless war (in spite of recent peace accords) and suffering as far back as I can remember. All she had to say was... ‘Arnold, when will I smile again’.

Saturday morning saw some of us planting a tree to celebrate 25 years of the Conference at the Remembrance Arch in the grounds of St. Vincents Hospital. This was the site of a massive army barrack that once housed nearly 3000 British soldiers before they marched off to fight in World War 1. I also had a quick look at the tree we planted in 2006 in memory of Irish UN soldiers who’d lost their lives, which is growing nicely... it’s taller than me already.

Saturday night was when the songwriters and musicians came into their own. I kicked off the evening with the full version of ‘Tipperary’ and then it was time for the Song of Peace competition. Upfront I must say that I thought the standard of writing this year was exceptionally high. 10 songs made the final featuring artists and writers from the UK, Germany, Argentina and Cork, Carlow, Antrim, Armagh and Belfast in Ireland. For the first time ever, the winner came from South America with Argentinian Ariel Benitez being awarded the Tipperary Crystal for his song ‘La Canción de la Hermandad’ (Song of the Brotherhood)

Ariel Benetiz (left) and Jack Cooke from London jam in the pub after the contest

Ariel, who’s from the Mendoza province of Argentina, was telling us that when he heard he had made the final, he approached the local government officials for some funding for a plane fare and accommodation in Ireland. Unfortunately they turned him down, and it seemed that he wouldn’t be able to make it. Then all the local people in his town had a ‘whip round’ and eventually managed to raise enough for him to come. I’m sure they were well pleased when he returned with the trophy! To me, he came across as a nice guy and gracious winner, although his English and my Spanish didn’t really meet in the middle. (Actually my Spanish is non-existent!)

The second half of the show featured a great gospel choir from Portlaoise followed by the judging process and a second performance of Ariel’s winning song.

Later that night we attended what the official program called a ‘post final reception’ in the Kickham lounge. Personally I’d call it something else... but whatever, we had fun. Out came the guitars and harmonicas with a few of the Tipperary Town folk joining in as well. Unfortunately, local rugby union side Munster had had a bad day against Leinster in the European Heineken Cup semi-final so not all the locals were up for it!

Being a sucker for punishment I’d arranged an interview with Noel Fahy on Tipperary Mid-West’s ‘The Crooked Road’ radio show for early...ish the following morning... but made it intact and on time. Thanks to Noel for playing the full version of ‘Tipperary’ and the 2009 winning peace song, as well as the chat. Then off to St. Mary’s Church for the morning service and another listen to Ariel’s ‘Song of the Brotherhood’. We then gathered together in the pub for a farewell reception, swopping cards, e-mails and hopefully many of us will stay in touch. I must say that as well as being an extremely talented bunch this year, they were all very friendly and easy to get on with. Hopefully Rose and I have made a few new friends for life!

I wanted to do a special piece about the committee behind the weekend, but space dictates that it might be a better idea to keep that for the next newsletter. I get complaints that I’m sending you books if I go on too long!

NOTES ACROSS THE WATER

Something that’s intrigued me the last few years is the possibility of co-writing music on the Internet. Is it feasible to have 2 or more people living in different parts of the world working together on music using e-mail, webcams and things like the Skype Internet video/phone system? Well in Tipperary I found a very positive answer to this question.

 Susan Hewitt (left) and Debra Farris terrorising the streets of Tipperary

Susan met Debra when she travelled from Ireland to L.A to take part in a songwriting conference run by the company TAXI who are one of the world's leading Independent Artist & Repertoire Company’s. Their blurb says that they ‘specialise in giving artists, bands, and songwriters access to the people in the music business who have the power to sign deals.’ The girls got paired off on a few songwriting projects and soon realised that they 'gelled' well together. So a new songwriting team was born with one half in Northern Ireland and the other in Santa Barbara, California. With the use of Skype and a webcam they’ll be able hear and see each other as they put together their ideas. With the time difference in mind, there was a word of warning from Debra... ‘ she better not be waking me up!’

Both ladies have a great track record so far. Susan’s originally from Belfast, has studied at Queen’s University, worked as a secondary school music teacher and has had a song in the Irish final of the Eurovision song contest. I really loved her song ‘The Peace Within’ which she presented at the festival.

Put a guitar and harmonica around her neck and Debra’s talent is immediately obvious. She’s also got a cracking voice and is doing lots of different stuff in California including writing, gigging solo, running her own band and treating people with a healing process called VKA. That’s probably best explained by Debra’s own website: ‘Vocal Kinesthetic Alchemy is an innovative healing practice using toning, touch, intuition, massage, and other modalities to move energy in the body and help people reconnect with themselves.’

Debra’s Website:

 Debra Farris' Website

 An Article on Susan’s Eurovision Success:

BBC News:Susan Hewitt

 I’d keep an eye on these two (musically speaking of course!). I think they could go far. We’ve been seeing quite a bit on TV about the raging fires in the Santa Barbara area of California... so hope you’re safe and well Debra!

THE DRINKING SITUATION IN IRELAND:

Rose and I were enjoying a meal in a pub in Tipperary when in walks our friend, Town Councillor (and ex-Mayor) Brendan Lonergan. Brendan’s one of the funniest, silliest yet extremely intelligent people I’ve ever met, although he speaks at such a frantic speed that I find it hard to keep up with him. (The Irish accent doesn’t help either). He’s that quick that he has a disarming way of answering your question even before you’ve finished asking it? He’s also a dab hand at poetry, and I’d like to feature some of his verse in a future newsletter.

I had the car parked outside, and when the first pints started appearing decided to ask the ‘Town Councillor' what the alcohol limit was in Ireland, so I knew if I was safe to drive or to ‘abandon ship’. Before I’d quite finished asking ‘what’s the situation with drink in Ireland?’ he’d given the answer...

‘Drink as much as you can ... and as often as you can!’

I hasten to add that he didn’t mean if you’re driving! Well that’s it for this month, go well and as the great Sixto Rodriguez said on his ‘Cold Fact’ album:

Thanks for your time

And you can thank me for mine

And after that’s said...

Forget it.

 Rob.

 www.robrusmusic.com

(Be a friend on mySpace)

  Http://www.myspace.com/robrusselldavies

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*Keepin' Up With Rob*

*The Newsletter of Songwriter and Musician, Rob Russell Davies*

www.robrusmusic.com

  NEWS

 It’s been an interesting month mainly spent on putting together production music / jingles and musical ideas for the 2010 football world cup. As I write we’ve got 444 days to go, and even though that seems quite a long way off, you’d be surprised how far ahead TV, radio and advertising companies have to be. I’ve also been thrown a few pieces of music, and told ‘write something that sounds like that... and do it quickly’! Quite a challenge, but one which I’m really enjoying.

 Thanks to everyone who’s visited the website and my myspace page recently. I’ve had nearly 2500 visitors to myspace since I started it a year ago.. quite a few have gone on to be friends and sign up to the newsletter. I know that I need a better presence on ‘Facebook’ (will be working on it soon) and probably even need to be on ‘twitter.com’ as well! I must confess to being not entirely convinced by twitter... I mean do you guys really want to know what I ate for breakfast this morning, or how well I slept last night? At the risk of sounding elitist, I really don’t buy into this ‘big brother’ concept of watching people do nothing.

  'The Tipperary Song' has now overtaken 'Gumboots' as my most popular download although 'Earth Angel', 'Give It A Minute' and 'Turn Around' are still doing well. It’s still a bit early for sales of the instrumental songs from 'Pianoscapes' to show. iTunes seems to be the preferred company for downloads with CD Baby the most popular for selling CD’s.

 News from Tipperary / Ireland is that the Cluster Munition Coalition (CMC), has been awarded this year’s peace prize in recognition of their campaign to outlaw the use of cluster bombs. I’ll be going over to perform 'The Tipperary Song' at the peace award ceremony and also as a guest artist on the night of the song contest. I’m really looking forward to seeing the town’s reaction to the song. I hope they like it... but if they start throwing bottles of Guinness, lets hope they’re full!

 STADIUMS / VUVUZELA’S AND WHAT TO WEAR AT THE WORLD CUP!

While writing and programming a recent football tune, I decided I needed a few vuvuzelas to give the feeling of an authentic African football crowd. For all you non-African readers, a vuvuzela is a kind of air trumpet used mainly for sporting events in South Africa, although we’re now, for better or worse, starting to hear them almost everywhere. While finding a few sound samples, I couldn’t help reading up on them and checking out a few different pictures. Here’s the most interesting example I found of a beaded one... most are just plain plastic.

 So what do they sound like then? Well, they can only produce a single note, although you do have a few options with that note. You can play it softly (rarely done), or you can give it the full mashings loud blast (often done). You can also vary the length of the blast... for as long as you can blow, or until the spectator in front of you finally loses it and turns around and belts you one. So, as you can imagine, the vuvuzela does have it’s detractors. A single note endlessly blasted over a long period of time can be annoying, making England’s famous 'barmy army' chant appear as intricate as a Bach Fugue. While over in South Africa recently, I was reading a news report about a group of 4 disgruntled employees at the Pilanesberg game reserve who took to blowing their vuvuzelas at the entrance of the park in protest. However, it seems they underestimated the patience of the park’s 20 or so guests, whose nerves finally cracked turning on the protesters and putting them in hospital. Doctor’s later confirmed that most of the vuvuzela’s had been successfully removed.

 Good news over this side of the water, is that England, having won all their qualifying games so far, look likely to be at next year’s finals. So, the question that will surely be on most supporters minds will be... what to wear for the games? Well an England shirt is a must... maybe even the whole kit, and of course, the 3 lions badge is going to go down in treat in SA. But why not Africanize yourselves a little... firstly, get a vuvu to add to the fun. I can hear it now....

 'Pa pa... pa pa pa... pa pa pa pa.... England!'

 But here’s another idea... how about a miner’s helmet! These are all the rage at football games in South Africa now, and of course are in plentiful supply what with all the gold, platinum and coal miners who make up a lot of the crowd. England fans can bring their own over... you can buy them new, or maybe just pop up to Yorkshire where we’ve got a few unused second hand ones lying around. So get ‘yer’ England kit on, stick a miner’s helmet on your bonce, paint your face with a union jack or cross of St. George, bring along the vuvuzela, and to round it off... how about pair gumboots or should I say wellingtons!

 Here’s a few SA supporters to give you the idea.

And whose going to win it? My tips... Spain, Italy, Brazil, you can never discount the Germans (you rarely get discount from the Scots!) and maybe even England! Being very optimistic...

But you never know... It’s a funny old game as they say!

 Last year we went to see the Sharks (Kwazulu Natal’s glorious rugby union team) play in the super 14 series in Durban, and I noticed that the World Cup stadium just across the road was coming on nicely. Here’s an artist’s impression of the finished thing. It has 3 tiers, a seating capacity of 70,000, and the design of the stadium will be characterised by two large archways which arc 100 meters above the stadium roof. After the world cup, the stadium precinct will also be used for athletics, rugby, golf(!), swimming(!!) and maybe even the odd pop concert.

 METAL GUITARS

 A few people have asked me about the line in 'Let Me Find Peace' which goes...

 'With a metal guitar she made herself

Gently strumming the chords

She sings this hymn as she comes for my help...'

 The idea behind this goes back to my childhood in Durban when I first saw an African man playing one of these home-made ‘metal guitars’ at a friends house. That’s what I call them, and am not really sure if they have a name - I once saw them advertised as 'Afri-can' guitars. They’re usually made out of petrol or oil cans, and one website I’ve found offers them in a variety of designs including the 'Castrol GTX Township Pro'! They sound really nice actually, a very mellow and smooth sound... musically speaking, they probably have the edge on the vuvuzela! It took me back to my childhood when last year we stumbled across a little shop on the Cape Town Waterfront selling them...

LAST WORDS

You’ve only to watch TV or listen to Radio in Britain to realise what a fantastic sense of humour the British have. (With this credit crunch we really need it) I absolutely love some of the great sitcoms of recent years including 'Only Fools and Horses','Keeping Up Appearances', 'The Vicar of Dibley' and even some of the more below-the-belt ones like 'Little Britain'. Remembering the glory days of radio comedy... I still have a collection of 'The Goons' shows on CDs. But some of Britain's best comedians are often just the guys on the street, people you meet in the pubs, shops, on busses and sometimes even on the trains. Here’s a few actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to their passengers in recent times...

 '

'Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the westbound and go in the opposite direction.'

 'Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any. '

'Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means we probably won't reach our destination.'

'Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now.... 'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall.....'.'

'We are now travelling through Baker Street ... as you can see, Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that'.

'Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage these professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me. '

'Let the passengers off the train FIRST!' (...pause).
'Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home....'

 'Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with 'Please hold the doors open.' The two are distinct and separate instructions.'

'Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors.'

'We can't move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door.'

'To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage - what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?'

'Please move all baggage away from the doors.'
(...pause). 'Please move ALL belongings away from the doors.'
(...pause). 'This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, four-eyes, and move your bl**dy golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your **** sideways!'

 Thanks to Tim for those. Hope you’ve enjoyed reading and look forward to chatting again soon.

 Rob.

 www.robrusmusic.com

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